


No matter how dark it may be...

by justanoutlaw



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s04e11 Shattered Sight, F/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-11 18:25:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15977918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanoutlaw/pseuds/justanoutlaw
Summary: Some things said were under the heat of the curse, but it doesn't mean they can easily be taken back.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I call this...revenge to my wonderful, amazing but angst loving friend, Lois. Check out her fic, I'll leave the door on the latch. Amazingly, beautifully written...but it hurts like a motherfucker, so it’s war.
> 
> Keep in mind: this first part of the fic takes place under the curse of shattered sight. Which means that Snowing and Emma all say some things that they don't nessecarily mean or wouldn't have said in such a blunt way. This is by no means a bashing fic (shouldn't have to say that, but my lovely anti tag anon will come out of the woodwork). That also means, please be easy on all of them. As Snow likes to say "We were cursed!" And all will be worked out in due time.

It wasn’t supposed to effect Emma. That was the point in all of it. Ingrid cast the curse so the entire town would kill each other and she’d have her “sisters” by her side.

 

No magic is perfect, though. It all comes with a price and Emma was paying for it.

 

The minute the curse hit, her eyes cracked and suddenly, her body ran cold. She looked over at Elsa, who could see what was going on.

  
“Take the baby,” she said, her voice nearly soulless.

Elsa quickly took Neal from her. “Emma…”

“Of course she’s giving him to her,” David quipped from behind the cell. “She can’t handle being a part of this family.”

“I’m the one that can’t handle family, hm?” Emma’s hands fell at her hips. “Am I not the one that’s been pushing me out of this damn family since it started?”

Snow rolled her eyes. “Oh here we go…”

“No. You two have wanted a baby since this damn curse broke and now you have one. Why am I even still here?”

“You wanna runaway? Like you always do?” Snow retorted. “It’s what you do best, isn’t it? Nothing we do is good enough for you!”

“And what have you done for me, _Mary Margaret_?” Emma taunted, moving closer to the cell. “Stuffed me in a wardrobe? Give me some lame advice about opening up my heart? Where exactly did any of that get me?”

“Just like your father. You want a happy ending to appear in your lap, you can’t work for it.”

 

David glared at his wife and leaned up against the wall.

 

“Sorry I’m not skipping around all the time pretending that everything is fine.”

“I don’t do that,” Snow said, breaking her glance to look at him.

“Oh yes, you do. The curse breaks and all you can care about is our lives going back to normal. You didn’t even want to try to go back home.”

“Because of Emma! You’re the one that wanted to leave her!”

Emma’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Oh, did he never tell you? He wanted to go back to the Enchanted Forest and said you’d be fine here by yourself if you didn’t want to come!”

David stormed to the bars, grabbing hold of it. “At least I mourned our daughter when we were forced to go back there!”

“I did mourn her! Neal was a happy accident and you know that!”

“There was no need to mourn me, I was alive and well, but I had to take Henry away,” Emma interrupted, stepping closer to them. “Because you two couldn’t be bothered to stop Regina before the curse hit!”

“You don’t know anything about that.”

“Oh, but I do. I read the book, how you let Regina go. If you hadn’t done that, if you had just killed her, then we wouldn’t be in this mess right now! But maybe this is what you wanted all along.”

 

Emma slipped her hands around the bars and looked menacingly into her mother’s eyes.

 

“You found out your precious daughter was the savior, would have enough power to break a curse. And maybe it was easy to send your magic wielding daughter away before she could turn into your worst nightmare.”

“That is not true!” Snow thundered. “We tried, we failed. And don’t act like you’re any better at parenting than us!”

“Do not bring Henry into this!”

“You did the right thing by giving him up, but then you repeatedly tried to take him from Regina. You still planned on leaving, even after she proved herself. You were going to go to New York and we’d never see you again! It’s like no matter what I do, you’re always pushing me away!”

“Can you blame me? You had that baby to replace me and we all know it!”

“Emma, stop!” Elsa rushed over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. “Your parents are good people. They made mistakes, you have, but they love you. This is what Ingrid wants, she wants to rip you apart from them!”

“If they loved me so much, I would’ve never met Ingrid and we wouldn’t be here.”

 

She looked down at the baby in her friend’s arms and then back at her parents.

 

“You know what? I’m done.” She threw her hands up in the air. “You two can have your precious life with your precious son. I don’t want to be a part of it anymore.”

 

Before Elsa could stop her, Emma stormed out of the station, slamming the door shut behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

Snow.

 

The first thing Emma felt when the curse broke was snow.

 

It was simple at first, but as she sat on top of her bug, watching the ruckus of the town go on around her, she could slowly feel her anger melt away.

 

Though, it only intensified the pain.

 

Everyone stopped fighting and was suddenly laughing, but Emma couldn’t laugh. She couldn’t even smile. She hopped off the car and went to find her son, he could leave Regina’s office now. She wondered where Regina had even turned up, how was this curse even broken?

 

“Mom!” Emma spun around to find Henry standing there and she let out a deep breath.

“Hey, kid.” She wrapped him into her arms and kissed the top of his head. “How’d you get here so fast?”

“Hook and I were kind of playing a game of cat and mouse while all of this was going on.”

Emma tilted her head back. “Your other mom told you to stay locked up.”

“I know, I know. But I’m fine. Hook is too. Where is Mom and your parents?”

 

Emma swallowed, unsure of where they were or if they’d even try to find her.

 

“Henry!”

 

Both she and Henry turned the other direction. Regina was sprinting down the road with David and Snow, the latter of which had the bulky stroller in her grip. Regina pulled her son into a tight hug and Emma stood there, looking at both of her parents.

 

“Emma,” Snow whispered, reaching out to take her hand, but Emma pulled away. She looked over at David.

“Is it true?” She asked. “Were you going to go to the Enchanted Forest without me?”

David bit down on his lip. “It was wrong, Emma. And I never would’ve actually done it…”

“Answer the question. Is it true?”

He let out a shallow breath. “Yes. It is.”

She looked back at her mother. “And you’re still hurt that I keep running away?”

Snow slowly nodded. “You honestly believe we had Neal to replace you? That we hold no value of you in this family?”

 

There was a beat of silence. All around them, people were happy. Dwarfs were reuniting, parents were hugging children. Neal…Neal was starting to cry.

 

“Now he wakes up,” David mumbled, watching Snow take him out of the stroller.

“I…I think I’m going to be staying at the old farmhouse for a while,” Emma said, still not have answered her mother’s question.

Snow looked up at her, the same hurt written in her eyes that she always had. The same that made Emma feel so damn guilty because she didn’t want to hurt her, but she didn’t know if it was genuine or not. “Emma.”

“Do you really think we should all be under one roof right now?”

 

More silence amongst the lively celebration.

  
“That’s what I thought.”

* * *

 

Neal was easy to settle down that night, he went right back to sleep. He’d be up in a few hours for his shrieking, but at least he went down easily.

 

Snow looked back at David, who sat at the kitchen table, both his hands wrapped around a mug. She walked over to him and settled across the table, reaching out and taking his hand. He looked up at her and gave her a soft smile. Hours ago, that smile would’ve driven her up the wall, but now it was all she wanted to see.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry too.” He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles and gnawed on his lip. “What I said, about you being a princess that runs away…”

“It was true. All of it. Things get tough and I bolt.”

“I shouldn’t have said that you didn’t grieve for Emma. We both did. Not just this past curse, but before too.”

Snow slowly nodded. “But I know how it looks. I told you I wanted a baby in Neverland and David, you have to know I didn’t want to talk to you about it like that. I wanted a conversation in private, away from Emma…I never…I never wanted to hurt her.” She clamped her eyes shut. “Oh God, I am so sorry I told her about…”

“We were cursed. Just like in Neverland, you never would’ve said those things to her unless you were forced to. I was selfish and wrong for what I said. I…I was still getting used to being a father.” David’s eyes grew sad and he looked over at his sleeping son, before back at his wife. “You became a mother the moment you found out you were pregnant with Emma, even before then maybe. I didn’t until she came and I was trying so damn hard to get used to the situation…”

“David, you need to tell her this. Not me. Just like I need to be honest with her about what I said.”

“Does she even want to talk to us?”

“Not right now and I don’t blame her.”

 

They stared at each other for a moment, before being brave enough to move forward.

 

“She still doesn’t believe us,” Snow whispered. “That she’s our family. She still hates us for what we did, she blames us.”

“We all said things we didn’t mean…”

“She means it, David. I can tell.”

“So…what do we do now?”

“We give it a little time. We all need space to process what happened.”

* * *

 

Emma made sure that Anna, Elsa and Ingrid all made it back to Arendelle okay. As it turned out, when Ingrid read Gerda’s letter, she had reversed the spell on her own and with her nieces’ forgiveness, they would return home as a family. The kingdom’s memories would be restored and they could all live happily ever after.

 

Too bad Emma couldn’t say the same for herself.

 

She spent the next few days living in Zelena’s old farmhouse. A part of her wondered if she should find it worrisome that it was the place she chose, but it was far away enough from everything, that it gave her the space she needed to collect her thoughts.

 

Henry visited the following day and they played video games, ate junk food. Eventually, he went back to Regina’s. He made it clear that while he loved Emma, he needed to spend more time with his other mom. They had missed a year of each other’s lives, plus the time that she had spent upset over Robin. Emma understood, even if it meant she’d be alone again.

 

She thought about her father. They had seemed to become so much closer since the curse broke, a far cry from Mary Margaret’s roommate and her lover, on different sides. They bonded over ice cream and bad movies, they talked about being sheriff and their similar upbringings.

 

But he almost traded all of that to go back without her. Would Snow have gone too? No, she made it clear from her voice that she didn’t like it.

 

It didn’t change that her mother still thought of her as a runaway.

 

Yet…maybe her mother was right. Whenever things got hard, that was her impulse. Not so much as a few days ago, she had spent some time living in her bug and debating what to do about her magic. She hadn’t gone to anyone, she had isolated herself.

 

It was what she did best. Was it any secret that they weren’t close?

 

On the other hand, Emma thought of Neal. The baby that they had both wanted so desperately. It had only been 3 months in the Enchanted Forest before they got pregnant again. Had they even looked into ways to find her before they finally settled on setting another curse to find her, because her brother needed the help?

 

She didn’t know and a part of her didn’t want to know. It was better to just be ignorant about the entire situation. It’d save her heart the pain.

 

Communicating with Regina only, she figured out what days she’d work and what days David would, so she could avoid them as much as possible. Feeling more comfortable with her magic, she could conjure up any food she needed at the farmhouse. Henry came by to visit her, Regina did too. (Hook had been missing since the curse, according to Rumple, he went off on his ship, saying the town was just too much for him.)

 

She didn’t get word from her parents for 3 days. She got back from the station, to find two envelopes taped to her door. One was from her mother, the other from her father. Snow asked for her to meet her on the beach the next day, in the morning. David invited her for a walk through the woods in the afternoon. Both broached the possibility of dinner in the evening and asked her to text them with her response.

 

Emma hesitated after reading both, but a big part of her could feel the sting in her heart. She missed her parents. She wanted to work things out, where they could. And it couldn’t be done in one talk…but it’d be a start, wouldn’t it?

 

Taking out her phone, she texted each of them a simple, one word answer.

 

_Yes._


	3. Chapter 3

Snow waited on the beach, 15 minutes past the time that Emma said she would come. A part of her wondered if she was actually going to show up.

 

Another part of her wouldn’t blame her.

 

“Hey.”

 

She looked up and saw Emma standing there,  digging her foot in the ground. Snow got up off the bench and gave her a small nod.

 

“Hey.”

“Sorry. I uh, had to take Henry to school. Regina said she had something to do.”

“She’s going to be mayor again.”

Emma arched an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Snow put her hands in her pockets. “It’s…it’s not the job for me. You know, I spent so long fighting for the crown and deep down, I don’t know if I did it more for my mother or for me.”

 

The waves crashed against the shore and tiny chill ran through the air. Elsa’s ice walls were down and the weather was returning to normal. However, it was September which meant it was only marginally better. Snow’s pale cheeks were already turning pink from the wind.

 

“You were right, Emma. I was a terrible ruler,” Snow continued.

“Mom…”

“No, let me finish. Looking back, if I had killed Regina, then she wouldn’t have been able to cause the pain she did. Now, I wouldn’t change my choice. I mean, Regina is a friend. She’s our family. Back then…I know I made the wrong choice as a ruler and as a mother.”

“I wouldn’t change things either,” Emma admitted.

Snow tilted her head. “You wouldn’t?”

“No. I know my upbringing sucked and I wish more than anything that you two raised me, but…I am who I am because of the pain. I wouldn’t have met Neal, which would mean no Henry. I’m not saying the curse is a good thing, but if I had a time machine, it wouldn’t be on my list.”

“I just need you to know, your father and I never wanted to replace you and we didn’t.”

 

Emma bit down on her lip, hard. She thought of her little brother, he was getting bigger by the day. Deep down, she felt a little ignorant for not thinking that they’d have another kid. Sure, it crossed her mind, but for awhile they were busy. There was no time to breathe. They went from being cursed to trapped in the Enchanted Forest to fumbling between New York, Maine and Neverland in what felt like just a few weeks.

 

But of course they’d have more children. She knew her parents, she had witnessed their tacos (unfortunately). If they had been in the Enchanted Forest with no protection, she’d most likely be one of ten. Yet, she thought of the baby that was the catalyst for her being removed from her first real family.

 

“I never wanted you to hear those words, you know? I wanted to talk with your father about having another baby, but waiting a bit. Forming a relationship with you.”

“I’m not mad at you guys for having a baby,” Emma whispered. “I get it. It’s just hard. You know why my first family gave me up.”

Snow flinched, remembering the story. “That’s not what’s happening here, Emma. We love you, like I told you that day at Mommy and Me, we are not first time parents. You are our daughter, you made us parents first. Nothing’s going to change that. I know we have work to do, to show you that you’re not replaceable, but you’re not.”

“You didn’t get to watch my milestones.”

“Milestones don’t make the parent. It’s about being there when it counts and I’m here now. I love you Emma, we love you. We never cared about your magic or your prophecy. That’s not why we put you in the wardrobe. We did it to keep you safe.”

 

Emma slowly nodded. She could feel that what her mother said was true, she could feel the love. She’d just have to work on her issues with the baby, with feeling like she could be pushed to the side.

 

They’d have to work out their issues.

 

“I really hurt you when I run, huh?” Emma asked, pushing her hands in her pockets.

It was Snow’s turn to fall silent for a moment. She ran her fingers over the buttons on her coat, clearly trying to bide her time. A seagull squawked and startled her for a moment, before she allowed herself to get back on track. “I know I’m not the perfect mother, Emma. And I know that you have been through a lot, which makes it easy for you to run. However, when I found out that after everything, you were going to go to New York…my heart broke.”

 

Snow frowned, trying to fight the tears that came to her eyes.

 

“I wanted to try again with you and it just felt like you were pushing me away. It was like you remembered all the progress we made, between the Enchanted Forest and Neverland and none of it mattered. Maybe it’s a selfish way of thinking, but Emma, I feel like you don’t want me. Like you wish that I wasn’t your mother.”

“Oh, Mom.” Emma stepped closer and put a hand on her arm. “I love you, you know that? And I am so glad that you are my mom. It’s just easier to push you away than admit that you love me back.”

“Emma…”

“What?”

“It’s just…you just said that you love me.”

 

Emma paused, had she not said that before? Her mom had told her that she loved her, her father too. But had she never said it in return?

 

“Oh. Well…I guess I never did. I felt it, though. Even back under the curse, I loved Mary Margaret.”

“Do you still wish I was her?”

“It was easier,” Emma admitted. “Having a friend rather than a mom…sometimes I wish we could go back to that but the truth is, we can’t. Even if I don’t need parents, you guys are my parents. Our relationship is different now and I want it to be. I don’t need another friend…I need a family. I need a mom.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Emma.”

“Well, neither am I.”

 

Snow put her glove clad hand through her daughter’s and the two stood there for a moment.

 

“Did you…did you try finding me?” Emma asked. “During the year we were separated? Before you cast the curse, I mean.”

Snow nodded. “I looked in every book. I tried to find any way that I possibly could, that wouldn’t require what we ended up having to do. I looked for months, Emma. Your father did too. We would’ve traded our entire kingdom, every precious gem that we own,  even if it just meant one more day with you.”

 

It didn’t heal everything, but it was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next...David and Emma talk out their issues.


	4. Chapter 4

David watched as the yellow bug pulled up to the edge of the forest, just a few minutes before they were due to meet. He had been early for once in his life. As soon as Snow had come home, he had left Neal with her and decided to wait. He needed to clear his head and think of what to say. It wasn’t that he didn’t know what he wanted to, he was just never good with wording things. Sarcasm came easy to him, quips did too.

 

Talking about how he felt when he was super vulnerable? Well, if he was a superhero, it’d be his kryptonite.

 

Emma got out of the car and headed closer to him. Her eyes were red and puffy, similar to what Snow’s looked like when she came back to the loft. Snow had said their talk had gone well, though, so he trusted that maybe theirs could too.

 

Even though she had more reason to hate him in the moment, than she did her mother.

 

“How’s Henry?” It was the first thing David could think of. He hadn’t seen much of his grandson lately.

“Good. Spending a lot of time with Regina.”

“Good…good…”

“I think the problem with our relationship is,” Emma ventured bravely. “We both know what we want to say, we’re just too stubborn to.”

David let out a deep breath. “You’re right.”

“Did you really want to leave me? After the curse broke, I mean?”

 

David straightened instantly and removed his hands from his pockets.

 

“Em, when the curse broke, my head was being pulled in a bunch of different directions. When you guys left, I had to take over since Regina was in hiding and everyone was freaking out. I was suddenly in charge and I wasn’t quite used to it. Your mother was the one everyone went to for answers and suddenly, I had to have them. When you guys came back, I realized that going home would be our chance to just have things go back to normal.”

“But you didn’t want me.”

“Of course I did.” He sighed. “The night your mother and I talked about all of this, was when you went to New York with Rumple and Henry. I brought up moving home and she said that she didn’t think that you would want to. I told her that either way, you’d be fine. She was insistent that she wouldn’t go if you didn’t.”

“Which is why you tried to pressure me so much into going with you guys.’

‘No, Emma. I realized that night, that I was wrong. I kept looking at our family as your mother and I. I knew that you were my daughter, but we didn’t have that bond that you and your mom did. I was stupid and selfish and…and I hate myself for it every single day.”

 

Emma went to interrupt him, but he continued.

 

“I told you awhile back that I faced the worst version of myself. He knew everything about me, taunted me about my fears and my failures. Emma, my biggest one, was that I hadn’t been a father to you.” He quickly blinked the tears that came to his eyes “I…I still feel such guilt for putting you in the wardrobe. It may have given you your best chance, but I see what it did. The relationship we had back then though, it’s not like now. We’re so much closer and I was scared that we’d never have that. You were still calling me David. I was scared that I couldn’t be your father. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be, I didn’t think I could be.”

 

David swallowed and they moved further into the woods. He could hear birds chirping and the crunching of leaves beneath their feet, but most of all, he could hear his beating heart, he was so scared.

 

“You’re everything I ever wanted, Emma,” he said, softly. “You’re the daughter I dreamed of when I found out you were coming. You’re a mix of us in terms of looks and you’re a kickass warrior. I know I don’t say it enough, but you’re not just the savior, you’re my kid. And I love you, so much. I’m never going anywhere again, I promise.”

Emma sniffled and he could see the tears falling down her face. “I missed you,” she admitted. “When Henry and I got back from New York. It was like we were a family again and yet, I didn’t feel safe. I missed our talks…our time. I never knew how to tell you any of it, I guess I just thought you’d be busy with Neal.”

“Your mother and I may have a second child, but that doesn’t change how much we love you, Emma. You are our world and nothing will change that. I want our relationship to get better, not move backwards.”

“So do I.” Emma leaned against a rather large oak tree, looking so small in comparison. “I know Mom wants to have dinner tonight and I agree that’s a good thing. However, I think we need more than that.”

“Like what?”

“Therapy. With Archie.”

 

A slow smile appeared on David’s face.

 

“Is Emma Swan suggesting she talk about her feelings more often?”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Shut up.”

David chuckled and moved closer to her. “Seriously, Em…I think that’s a good idea. We all have things to work on and we want our relationships to be stronger.”

“We’ll probably never have the normal parent/child bond.”

“And that’s okay, we’re not normal. I think that’s part of the problem. For a long time, all of us just tried to pretend that nothing happened. That we weren’t separated by a curse for 28 years, followed by another one.”

“It was just too painful.”

“It may hurt, but the only way we’re going to get past it, is by discussing it. Even if we don’t always agree or don’t like what someone else has to say. You can be honest with us, Em. Always.”

“Really?”

“You have every right to hurt and be angry about the past.”

“So do you, Dad. Same with Mom. Just because you two made some choices, doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be upset.”

 

David nodded and looked at her for a moment, her looking back at him. Without another word, Emma wrapped her arms around her father and he did the same, cradling the back of her head as he always did.

 

“I love you,” he whispered.

Emma buried her head into his shoulder. “I love you, too.”


End file.
